Relationships are complicated enough without all the extras. Marriages by itself are hard work and labor. Pouring day in and day out into the building, tugging back and forth as if we’re in a war. Building walls, creating floors, blood, sweat and tears, every day, every minute!
But is it worth it?
In life we can become tired. Tired of picking up, tired of listening to the same old thing, same old song, tired of speaking, when barely anyone is listening. We are building, we are trying our best, but at times our hands become weak, and we are just powerless to even raise them up.
When we sit down to rest, the enemy comes around and begins to mess with our life. What we have build, what we have created is under the attack. When we are tired, we are not watching, and are not aware as much. Our senses are off, and we cannot perceive as well as before.
This can cause us to magnify our spouse’s flaws, weaknesses, and imperfections, with the enemies help. Now we hear them chewing loudly, now we see more clearly, and the enemy is whispering, and suggesting thoughts. We begin to feed into the lies, and the enemy is having a fieldtrip with us.
Instead of teaming up, we are now against each other. “He is selfish, she is stubborn”, we say, “He doesn’t get me, she doesn’t understand me”.
And the war begins
For those struggling to love your husband or your lovely wife right now, to give them a second chance. I was at this point in my life, and things looked dim, and unclear tometoo! I assumed, I cut, I corrected, I cried, I got emotional, I was misunderstood, I was hurt, I was misstreated, and treated unkind.
Or so I thought
But did I PRAY, and fast? Did I encourage, did I uplift, and have I clearly communicated my issues? Have I asked for clarification? Was I kind, patient, truthful, gentle, faithful to my husband, or my wife?
Did I love through her wrongs, was I patient through his hurts, did I sacrifice, did I work on building those walls, what about the foundation, did I explain, did I pray for him? Did I pray for her? Did I pray for us?
I cried out to the Lord, and he heard my cry, and answered me from his holy mountain.😥😭😭
➡️ Communucation is the key! Talking with each other about issues is the key. Not putting important details under the rug, or shutting each other down, but rather listening to each other and hearing each other out is the key!
Not listen to respond with hurt, but listen to understand the pain!
We often assume, and make wrong conclusions about things, and people, “He doesn’t care”, ” She doesn’t listen.” But have we explained? Or did we just create a mountain out of a mole? Assumptions are dangerous, and are not to be practiced in marriage. Rather than assume, ASK! Talk about what you assumed, and clarify the issue.
Perceptions are dangerous too! Seeing from your perspective rather than choosing to walk in your partners shoes can be deadly, and quite harmful. If you have never walked a mile in your partners shoes, can you make conclusions, can you perceive from their point of view? Can you understand their hurt, their pain?
False expectations are dangerous too! Expecting your partner to buy you flowers, because your girlfriend’s husband showers her every weekend. Expecting your husband to buy you diamonds, when you haven’t even washed his feet. If you are currently guilty on all three, go back and make things right! ⬅️
Don’t assume! Ask!
Don’t perceive! Ask!
Don’t expect of others what you wouldn’t do in the first place, and please be Gentle!!
Work on your marriage dear, build your walls of trust. Communicate, communucate, communicate! Houses don’t just fall appart check your foundation, have you maintained your issues? Don’t just expect a broken angine to work, check the angine!
God doesn’t allow things to happen, unless there is a reason, and purpose for it. THAT betrayal, that unforgiveness, that misunderstanding, those cold words, and harsh responses. Find out the reason dear, and try again.
And do not make hasty decitions! Hasty decitions are not wise, and flow directly from satan. Hasty responses are ignorant, and are not to be tolerated. Take your time, examine your house, pray for your marriage, fast for your partner, communicate your issues with one another, your marriage is worth fighting for!