I couldn’t remember my melody

I didn’t want to cause trouble, my family to hate me, or face any kind of quarrels with those I knew, let alone get into conflict, so I kept quiet. And each day that passed by, my voice was getting quieter. I tried to rise up, but something inside of me, kept pushing me down. Like a prisoner chained to my own fears, and insecurities, that weighed me down. I was now a slave to fear, shakels all around me.

My voice was going away, and so was my confidence. Where I once was brave, I now feared the sight of it. Where I once stood up, I could no longer even raise my hand. My nights turned into sleepless nights, and days into simply existing…

My voice was pushed down! Deep down! I felt like no one wanted to hear what I had to say. The enemy also whispered, “no body cares” that’s your story! That’s too personal, too many details, that’s embaracing, and I believed him!

I settled, I stayed silent, but inside I was dying, dying of compromising my identity, tolerant of his lies, intimidation kept pulling me further down.

At times I felt like that bird in a cage, who couldn’t sing her melody of freedom. Chained to the ground by my own insecurities, and fears I felt as though I could never sing the melody. I’ve forgotten how to sing, and dream, forgotten the lyrics, I’ve forgotten the tune, the melody.

But here I am! Doors wide open 🙌 singing the melody I had once forgotten. I am ready to sing again! I am ready to let go, shaje off my sheckles, and leap into the unknown once again!

I’m letting go of fear, insecurities you have no hold on me, intimidation step aside, you no longer own me. Faith will carry me, confidence will lift me up, and under his wings I will find my refuge and strength again, and dream, and sing again.

To all my dreamers: Don’t you keep silent! Sing the melody, even if you have forgotten your words!

Yours truly, Lena


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