One of my friends inquired a question on Social media, pertaining to free time, stay at home moms, and what to do with it. I read her post, and was about to comment a million things to do, as well as invest into, when I had to stop and write out the ugly truth.
The truth that no one wants to face
No way am I comparing to other moms, or judging other moms, I’m just telling my story.
We mommies do not need to feel guilty, compare, or feel intimidated by other working moms. We are already doing much. Washing, cleaning, cooking, wiping messes, cleaning messes, taking care of little people, and pertaining to their needs.
We simply are ENOUGH
No one sees our hard work, and we often feel underappreciated for the amount of work we do. In turn we feel the need to prove our worth, value to others. So in turn we find more stuff to do, to fill up the mom guilt cup, the comparecement of supermoms cup, as well as insecurity and intimidation of pinterest and instagram moms.
We only see half truth anyways!
Those moms work hard to impress others, and are working overtime to fill up their guilty cups, as well as self fullfilment cups.
I started a business idea, volunteered at a local shelter, joined Etsy to get my creative genes flowing, cooked meals for the less fortunate, started a prayer group, took on supermom challenges, arts and crafts, attempted to recreate Pinterest ideas, only to find myself frustrated and even more intimidated.
Because I felt the mom guilt, because i tried to compare to the Pinterest, YouTube, and Instagram moms, because my life seemed boring, because I needed to impress others, and the list can go on.
And even after that I still felt empty, unfulfilled, and did I mansion burned out?
Because honestly you cannot be everything, and everyone for others.
So here’s my solicited advice. From trying all to simply doing me, and kicking that mom guilt to the curb, as well as avoiding the comparecement trap, and the need to impress others.
When there is free time, and you feel the need to impress others, compare yourself to supermoms, or silence the mom guilt…
I’ve been there, and it’s a rabbit hole, tiring and exhausting.
In my sunday school this week, I have went over and beyond, teaching my kids that doing small tasks faithfully, is better than doing all those things, and more, unsuccessfully with a burned out heart.
And God sees all that we do, rewarding us for the time and energy spend.
Suppose we can be trusted with very little, then we can be trusted with very large.Luke 16:10
Simple and to the point
We do not need to fill up those cups with endless tasks to silence mom guilt, or pursue those other career opportunities, to impress others, we sure, do not need to measure up to super moms. God created us to be our best selves, and do the daily portion in our day.
We mommies need to slow down, and take time to refill our cups with self acceptance, value, and worth.
▪ Self acceptance. I am accepted and valued without doing the extra, or feeling guilty all the time.
▪Value I am worthy and respected with just being a mom, because that in itself is a Full time job, and full of value.
▪ Worth. I don’t need to jump hoops, or join clubs to prove myself to others, because I am fully known by God, and worth much more than I give myself credit for.
Refill our cups you say, come on, pour some into my cup! It does the JOB
That is not what I am talking about!
While having a glass of wine, can silence mom guilt for a time, and finally catching up to supermoms gives you some type of relief or fullfilment…
You will always find yourself working overtime to measure up to others.
I am talking about the capacity of our mental, emotional, welness, and spiritual cup. We often pour out so much, and look for ways to fill up with temporary things and tasks, that we do not even have anything left, to give, or pour out.
For our selves
No wonder we are frustrated, pained and burn out. We work work work, and do not refuel our cups. We give give give, and do not take time to receive.
No wonder our children are responding to us in frustration, and having a melt down, because on the inside, we too are fruatrated, pouring out from an empty cup.
Whatever energy we give them, we receive. If we give them frustration, this is what we will receive, if we give them lectures, we will also receive backlashes.
The one thing I regret doing more as a mom is making time for myself, which I try to catch up with more now. #guiltcapoff Taking care of others is my passion, being a mom is my full time joy, and satisfaction, however we mommies take on the world, fill up empty cups, clean and wipe messes, forgetting that the most important cup to fill is ours.
If we are empty, and are burning out, everyone else will feel our frustration, and in turn will multiply it.
Whatever we put out, we receive back in our cups. If we are not faithful with what we have, even what we have will be taken from us.
So Pamper yourself, take naps, shop by yourself, go to the movie/watch a movie by yourself, read, meditate, take a bubble bath by yourself 👋😊 HELLO!
And please do not feel guilty about any of it, or let others talk you out of it, you deserve it , and you need it
– Sincerally a burnt out mama of two, selflessly giving out, year after year to others.
If you have been encouraged or inspired, share this with another momma.